


Where the two of us sleep, together

by NozomiTojosGF



Category: ENHYPEN (Band)
Genre: How Do I Tag This, M/M, NOT homophobia but Ni-ki is scared to tell his hyungs he likes boys, Nothing sexual I swear, Sunki, enhypen are cute, friends to boyfriends, light swearing probably, ni-ki is whipped, ni-kis hyungs adore him, no friends to lovers because they're underage, possible future jaywon/jakehoon, sunki best friends, they're all good boys, this is my first fic someone help me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:07:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28181394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NozomiTojosGF/pseuds/NozomiTojosGF
Summary: Sunoo was the best at smiles. Genuine smiles, smiles that said “Turn the camera towards me”, smiles that meant “I’m actually upset at you but I won’t let it show right now”. And Niki wanted to kiss those smiles away. Every single one. It wasn’t only about kissing, it was about the fact that Niki wanted to see who Sunoo was behind his professional smiles that he kept on at all times. It was rude, Niki knew. He wasn’t dumb, even if he was young. Wanting to take away someone’s smile wasn’t a good thing. But he didn’t mean to take it away for a long time. Just for a few minutes, to see what Sunoo would do.To learn more about the boy he liked. That was all.
Relationships: Kim Sunoo/Nishimura Riki | Ni-ki
Comments: 76
Kudos: 191





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea where this is going. I started it without a plan in mind. I just like writing so I decided to try writing my own fic.  
> I can't promise regular updates because I haven't decided what plot this has, lol.
> 
> You can find me on twitter @NozomiIsArmy.  
> Let's talk if you feel like it. I don't really have oomfs bc im shy.
> 
> (Also Jungwon said in an interview that he liked Ratatouille so I added that in there.)

Nikis’ time in I-land couldn’t be described as good or bad. It was hard, difficult and draining, but it was also the most fun Niki had ever had. Dancing every day, meeting new people his age, learning Korean by talking to the other boys on the show. 

For every instance of insecurity, the want to improve that was present in Niki’s mind was much stronger. With his love for dance as a driving force, he broke down the walls standing in his way, and made his way to the final lineup. And the other six members who he got to know on the show were all there with him. His hyungs were all there to watch over him. Sunoo was there.

-♥︎-♥︎-♥︎-

The time Niki spent with Sunoo in both I-land and Ground was precious. Sunoo was there to cheer them all up, to make them laugh with his dramatic reactions and to respond to their jokes. And to be honest, there probably wasn’t a single person who didn’t think Sunoo was pretty. In Niki’s mind, that was absolutely impossible. Wanting to get to know Sunoo was a given, and although Niki maybe wasn’t the best at socializing, Sunoo himself reaching out made it easy to befriend the older boy.

Maybe the only problem was that Niki wanted more. Even after I-land, where the two had grown quite close, Niki wanted to grow closer still. On their way to their new dorm, Sunoo was basically only one seat (or one Sunghoon, if that’s a unit you can use) away from him, yet he felt further away. Because Sunoo was good at only showing what he wanted to show. As the car drove through the night, flashing lights seen through the window, Niki’s head was occupied with debut and thoughts of how their new dorm life would look like. But unconsciously in the back of his head, the scene of Sunoo getting picked by the producers played out.

Sunoo was the best at smiles. Genuine smiles, smiles that said “Turn the camera towards me”, smiles that meant “I’m actually upset at you but I won’t let it show right now”. And Niki wanted to kiss those smiles away. Every single one. It wasn’t only about kissing, it was about the fact that Niki wanted to see who Sunoo was behind his professional smiles that he kept on at all times. It was rude, Niki knew. He wasn’t dumb, even if he was young. Wanting to take away someone’s smile wasn’t a good thing. But he didn’t mean to take it away for a long time. Just for a few minutes, to see what Sunoo would do. 

To learn more about the boy he liked. That was all.

-♥︎-♥︎-♥︎-

Niki already knew what his feelings meant. It wasn’t hard to connect kissing with romance, although it did shock him the first time he looked at Sunoo and thought that his lips looked kissable. Being young like he was, it was hard thinking about things like sexuality and love, so Niki decided to put those thoughts away and leave them swept under the rug for a few years at least. Whether he liked boys or not, he didn’t have time to be in love, and he didn’t really want to think about relationships anyways. He told himself to get over his schoolboy crush on Sunoo. 

_‘I can do it!_ ’ He thought to himself. _‘How hard can it be to focus on something else?_ ’

Harder than he had thought, was the answer to that question.

Sitting alone at the kitchen table as his hyungs were either in the living room watching _Ratatouille_ or sleeping in the bedroom, Niki was trying to stop thinking about his ‘tiny insignificant totally-not-a-big-deal’ crush on Sunoo, as he liked to call it. In his head, of course. He had never said it out loud, god forbid, and he could only imagine the looks his hyungs would give him if he did. He knew they were good people, maybe even the best, but they had never talked about their opinions on people who were, well… like Niki. As much as he loved them, he was scared of making them uncomfortable. 

And so he found himself sitting alone, with a bowl of ramyeon he had forgotten, staring at nothing in particular. Thinking about how to break down the walls Sunoo had put around himself. Kissing would probably do the trick, but Niki was pretty sure he wasn’t going there any time soon. He was confident in a lot of things, but this was not one of those things.

 _‘Maybe I should pinch his cheeks_ ,’ Niki thought, before he almost winced at how stupid that sounded.

 _‘That would make him slightly annoyed at most, how can that even be a suggestion! I do that all the time anyways!_ ’

‘...’

‘ _...What if I headbutt him_?’ 

Niki thought about it for about a second, before immediately slamming his head down onto the table.

 _‘That is very bad and morally wrong, why would that be my second thought after pinching his cheeks!?_ ’

The loud noise of a forehead hitting a wooden table didn’t go unnoticed by the older members watching tv in the living room, and a few seconds later Heeseung and Jay walked in, followed by a worried Jungwon.

“Niki, what the _hell_ are you doing?” Raising his head to look at Jay, Niki thought about how to answer that. What was he doing? He couldn’t come up with anything good to say.

“Nothing.”

The older blond looked down at him with an expression of half confusion-half worry, and then proceeded to look at Heeseung and Jungwon. Their leader shooed the older boys away, telling them to go back to the movie. He then proceeded to sit down across the table from Niki.

“Niki, you’ve been doing extremely well practicing for our debut. To be honest, you’re one of the most hardworking out of all of us.” At that, Niki smiles a little. Getting compliments is nice after all, especially if it is from one of his hyungs. “But,” Jungwon continues, and Nicki's smile falters. 

“I can tell you’re stressing about something. You don’t need to tell me, or anyone else, if you don’t want to. But, if you feel like you need someone to talk to, I can try to help you with it.”

Well, this was to be expected, Niki thinks. His members knows him well, and someone was bound to ask him about it sooner or later. Maybe he should be glad that it was Jungwon, and not one of the other hyungs. Jungwon is mature and the leader, and to top it off, a very good friend.

He’s just not sure what to say. So they sit there, making eye contact for a few seconds while the maknae gathers his thoughts. Then Niki looks down at the table and opens his mouth. And whatever Jungwon was thinking, what Niki says clearly wasn’t what he was expecting.

“Hyung… what do you do if you can’t stop thinking about your crush?”

Silence. Very much silence, and Niki fumbles over what he should say next. Should he explain? Tell Jungwon who it is? Should he say _never mind_ and tell Jungwon to forget about it? Should he dig a hole through the kitchen floor and bury himself in it? 

He speaks without thinking, trying to save himself from humiliation.

“I- I mean maybe I wouldn’t call it a- a crush per se, maybe more like an interest or like- like I don’t know, something that isn’t a crush I mean it might not even be a crush ahahaha maybe it’s nothing don’t worry about it pleasedonttellanyoneohmygod-“

“Niki!”

The maknae stops rambling and looks up at his hyung. Jungwon has taken Nikis hands in his own, and is looking at him with a serious expression. ‘ _What does that face mean?’_ Niki asks himself, but he doesn’t know, so he sits quietly and waits for Jungwon to continue.

“Niki...you have someone you like?”

Well, maybe like is a strong word. Or maybe it’s exactly the right amount of strong, because Niki keeps telling himself he hasn’t fallen that deep, but the word does sound right when he thinks about it. Which he tries not to do. 

In the living room, the Pixar movie is still playing, but it’s nearing the end, as the rats in the movie have already cooked ratatouille for the restaurant critic. In about five minutes, the credits will start scrolling, and the older members will gather in the kitchen to make late night noodles before going to sleep. In other words, Niki has about ten minutes to explain his situation to Jungwon before their hyungs interrupt. This isn’t going well.

“I do…” is all that he can answer with, and he’s not sure what should come next. Thankfully, Jungwon keeps the conversation going.

“Is it someone in Japan?” Great, an interrogation.

“Well, no, it’s not.”

Jungwon asks, “It’s someone you know in Korea?”, to which Niki answers “yes.”

It’s quiet for about three seconds.

“I didn’t know you knew any girls here. You never talked about any.”

Damn, here it comes.

It should be expected that girls come to mind first, seeing as they are guys, and that’s the sort of society they live in, but Niki can’t help but feel discouraged.

Why did he think he could talk about this? Why didn’t he keep it to himself? There’s only so many ways this could go, and none of them really seem appealing. 

If he tells Jungwon he likes a girl, he’ll be lying. If he tells him the truth, that it’s a boy, Jungwon might either find him gross, or weird, or get uncomfortable. Even in the best case scenario, where Jungwon accepts him, he will most likely ask who the boy is. And that’s where the real trouble begins.

‘So where do I go from here’ Niki asks himself. He decides on the spot that honesty works best. ‘ _If he asks who it is, I’ll just refuse to tell him._ ’ 

For a second, he forgets what the question was. Well, more than a question, it was a statement. Niki searches in his memory, even though Jungwon said it like five seconds ago. 

_“I didn’t know you knew any girls here”_

“I don’t.” Is what he goes with. Simple, easy, gets the job done. Catches Jungwon off guard as well. It’s a little funny, seeing Jungwon’s eyes get bigger. But the leader quickly regains his composed face, looking a little more conflicted than before.

“I...see.” He answers, perhaps not sure where to go from here. Niki almost says _‘I feel you man’, but decides against it._

_“Yeah.”_

As they sit in silence for a few seconds more, the credits begin to roll as the movie finishes in the living room, and somebody turns the tv off. Niki can hear the sofa creaking as someone gets up. Slipper-wearing feet are making their way through the hallway. Jungwon looks Niki in the eyes and says, “Let’s continue this conversation later. We have to go to sleep.” 

Niki goes to brush his teeth, put on pajamas, and slips into Sunoos bed, where the older is already sleeping. If Jungwon watches him, he doesn’t say anything more about the topic. Niki and Sunoo sleeping together is the norm, anyways. 

-♥︎-♥︎-♥︎-


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niki and Jungwon continues their talk from earlier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello I'm back very early because for some reason I'm done with this chapter too. (actually i finished it along with the first one but well i read through it a few times.)  
> This is probably gonna be slow. It might turn out long, idk. I have at least five chapters, maybe a lot more. Haha..ha....  
> Anyways, enjoy???  
> (Also you can SO tell im LGBTQ+ from this fic jesus christ. the gay agenda, my dudes.)  
> I ALSO CHANGED MY USERNAME BC IM AFRAID MY LITTLE SISTER WILL FIND ME ON HERE SDFGHJK

‘Later’ comes three days later. Three days of extremely tight schedules later. Three days of very hard dance practice and recording and Enhypen&Hi filming later. The days before debut are packed and the boys really haven’t had time to talk to each other, or do anything but work and sleep and eat, to be completely honest. This saturday is a little more relaxed, after finishing their work for the day.

Maybe Niki should be glad for the extra time, but having a lot of things to do can be nicer, Niki thinks, because he had during these three days completely forgotten that ‘later’ was coming, which makes for a _super_ nice surprise when Jungwon pulls him aside later in the evening. 

Definitely _super duper_ nice and not terrifying at all. 

Jungwon takes Niki to the kitchen again, with just the two of them awake and up as the others are already laying in bed, sleeping or on their phones.

This time there’s no Pixar movie playing in the background, and although they’re tired and should be sleeping early, there’s no time limit either. A perfect time for admitting your secrets, Niki suggests.

Is liking boys such a big deal? For Niki, no. Not at all, actually. But for some people, yes. Niki finds himself hoping Jungwon isn’t one of those people. 

(Because no matter how well you know a person, some things are best not talked about. Especially if it can ruin a friendship that has to stay unruined for the sake of their career.)

Jungwon is the first to speak up. He takes his sweet time constructing a sentence, and Niki finds himself being thankful for their leaders' maturity in these situations.

“Did you mean what I think you meant when you said that on Wednesday?”

Niki’s not sure, to be completely honest. He can’t read his hyungs mind, so he’s not sure if Jungwon understood it the right way, but he nods anyway. Jungwon is smart, so surely he understood the underlying message.

Jungwon seems to get it, because he looks at the blond and smiles a comforting smile, taking the younger's hands in his own. 

“Are you afraid I’m going to hate you, Niki?”

 _‘Hate is a strong word’_ , Niki thinks. He had thought something more along the lines of _finding him disgusting and asking him not to touch anyone anymore,_ but Jungwons’ words gets the job done, so he just nods again.

His hyung tightens his hold on Nikis hands, again trying his best to be reassuring. Niki finds himself being a little hopeful that maybe, just maybe, their relationship will be the same as it has been even after this.

“Niki, you know…” Jungwon starts, and the younger holds his breath, waiting. 

Jungwon continues.

“All 23 of us, one way or another, came to I-land because we look up to idols. Male idols, in most cases. And, well, how do I say this… There’s different ways to look up to people. Some of us probably wanted to be popular with girls, like them. Some of us were probably inspired by their singing and just wanted to do the same thing. That was the reason for me. But if you think about it, there’s also other ways of looking up to people. As a guy, well… liking male idols. You know where I’m going with this, right?”

Niki thinks he knows, although he really hasn't thought about it that way. He has liked male idols, sure, but if Jungwon thinks he wanted to become one just because he’s attracted to them, he got Niki all wrong.

“Hyung, I became an idol because I love dancing, and performing. Liking guys has nothing to do with it.” 

Niki’s voice is a little high pitched, and he might have tears forming in his eyes, but he holds eye contact with Jungwon, who now looks panicked, to say the least.

“That’s not what I meant Niki, oh gosh! No, no no I meant as in like, guy idols who like guys are probably more normal than we think they are. I said it the wrong way!” I’m just not sure how to explain it…”

They’re both sitting there, around 3:30 am in the morning, and they’re both tired. Maybe Niki isn’t understanding what Jungwon is trying to say. He’s trying, really, but it’s hard to connect the dots. Jungwon tries again.

“What I’m trying to say is that, well, I’m the same. I’m the same, Niki. Like you, probably. Although I’m not really sure what you consider yourself to be.”

Now Niki is the surprised one, and the positions of last Wednesday have completely switched. Jungwon looks unsure, but he continues anyway.

“I didn’t become an idol because I’m attracted to them. I love dancing and performing and singing, like everybody else in our team. But I became interested in idols because I had a few I liked. That’s what I mean. I just think, maybe, people like us in this industry are more common than you might think.”

And with nothing else to say, Niki says the only thing he can think of.

“Hyung, are you… gay, too?”

Jungwon laughs. Then he lets go of Niki’s hands, and gets out of the kitchen chair. He ruffles Niki’s hair, and then starts walking, but turns around in the doorway to look at Niki with a big smile. His dimples are showing, and Niki thinks to himself, _how cute_.

“I’m not really sure I’d call myself that, because I’ve liked girls, too. But I have a guy I’m interested in, if that’s what you mean. Let’s go sleep Niki. It’s very late.”

-♥︎-♥︎-♥︎-

The best part of Filming for Choom studios was Sunoo in his outfit, looking adorably cool, if that’s two words you could put together. Niki didn’t know or care too much about grammar stuff. And really, with Sunoo looking like that, Niki was sure those two words weren’t enough either way. He had seen this outfit before, since they filmed multiple videos and shows in the same clothes. But Sunoo looked just as awesome every time. He looked good in anything, but the outfits their stylists choose really were top grade. _That’s why it’s their job to style us, you dummy_ , Niki thinks. 

Teasing Sunoo is easy when you know what he gets annoyed at. In other words, it’s simple once you get to know him. Either you stop paying attention to him, diss something he did (like your hair or his outfit), or you don’t give him compliments when he wants them- it’s all simple enough. And fun. There’s a ton of other things too, but the list is too long to go through. Niki knows all the ways to tick Sunoo off.

Like right now, when they’re doing a compliment relay, and of course he’s supposed to compliment Sunoo, because they’re always next to each other. But if Niki was to compliment Sunoo, he’d give himself away. He’d say something like ‘ _You're really cute and adorable and fun to tease and your lips are very pink, I bet they taste like strawberries and peaches and can I maybe try to find out?_ ’ 

Yeah, compliments come naturally but Niki wouldn’t be able to save himself from that one. So he does what he does best. He teases Sunoo instead.

It’s normal, everybody laughs at it, and nobody questions it. Yet Niki can’t help but think about the things he’d say if he had the chance to compliment Sunoo without being scared of outing himself.

He’d say something along the lines of ‘ _You’re so incredibly beautiful when you smile, and your laugh is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard, and your hands are so smooth it makes me want to hold them. You’re very charismatic, like you’re born to be on camera. But, I’d like to see the real you, behind that charisma, too. Maybe you could show me the unfiltered part of you. At least one day._ ’

Yeah, he’s in deep.

He definitely made the right choice not complimenting the older boy in front of a camera. Niki stops his train of thoughts so that he can look at Sunoo. He’s drinking coffee. 

_Wait a second. That’s_ **_my_ ** _coffee._

Goddamn Sunoo, looking cute even when he’s stealing. Drink-stealing. What a criminal. _Almost_ too cute to get annoyed at. Emphasis on _‘almost’_.

“Dude, that’s mine!” Niki says, walking closer to where his hyung is standing. Maybe he should use honorifics, but he _is_ talking to a thief, so it’s not important.

“Awe come on Niki, there wasn’t much left anyway!” Sunoo says, smiling. _Cute_ , Niki thinks. _Annoying_ . _Cute_ . _Cutely annoying_. 

“No way hyung, I wanted to drink that, you know! You didn’t even order a Caramel Macchiato so why are you acting like it’s yours?”

Sunoo just laughs and puts away the empty cup, and Niki decides to be annoyed. He can’t let it go just because Sunoo’s cute, right? He’s not **that** weak, right?

Wrong. 

About ten minutes later, he lets it go. He can’t help it when Sunoo is clinging onto him like that, and then looks so disappointed when he won’t do finger hearts for the camera.

It’s so easy, forgiving Sunoo. He can get away with almost anything, as long as he looks at Niki with those adorable sparkly eyes and frowns a little. Niki can’t help it.

Because as much as he wants to kiss away Sunoo’s smiles, he wants to kiss away his frowns even more.

-♥︎-♥︎-♥︎-


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niki is talking to Jungwon again.   
> lol idk how to describe chapters tbh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't noticed, this work is a long build-up. I didn't wanna jump right into love and confessions. I want this to feel natural kinda, if that makes sense.  
> This chapter is short but I'll probably update soon.
> 
> There's so many new fics I wanna read on here, plus I wanna read the new chapters for the fics i follow but man, I have been kinda busy.  
> Happy birthday to V from BTS, the first ever Kpop group I stanned. I love them so much. They're still my Ult group >.<

The worst part of studio Choom was Jay's outfit, Jungwon thinks. His heart-patterned shirt was a gift for tired eyes, but it was also very very hard not to think about his collarbones. Not that Jungwon particularly thought about them a lot, no no, definitely not more than the average person. But Jay looked good in those clothes, all things considered. 

Jungwon hears laughter, and looks over to where Jay and Heeseung are sitting. Bodies close, looking into each other’s eyes, laughing wholeheartedly. (While being filmed.)

_ ‘I’m so stupid’ _ , Jungwon thinks, and turns his head towards Niki and Sunoo instead. They’re standing close, Sunoo draped over Niki’s shoulder, smiling at the blond like he just said the funniest thing Sunoo had ever heard. And Niki, looking at his hyung like he’s the love of his life. (Although Jungwon has to admit, he’s pretty good at hiding it. Niki’s not smiling, and if it wasn’t for his eyes, one could think he was annoyed at Sunoo. But well, his eyes are smiling, and Jungwon can see the love. Plenty of it, in fact.)

_ ‘And to think Niki’s still scared to tell him. I’ll have to talk to Niki soon, though. To let him know.’ _

Jungwon hears one of the staff tell Jake and Sunghoon that it’s time to start the filming again, and moves to let the stylist remove the paper on his forehead.

He looks at Jay and Heeseung one more time.

_ ‘Jealousy is a disease, Jungwon _ ’, he tells himself. 

-♥︎-♥︎-♥︎-

Life after debut is just as hectic as before, Niki realizes. Well, in a different way. Now, instead of recording songs and filming their MVs, it’s all about performance. Singing  _ Given-Taken _ on different award shows, filming for talk shows their fans yet don’t know of. It’s hectic, but they don’t have to practice dancing as much as before, since they know their dances inside and out by now. Niki likes  _ 10 months _ a lot, although the other songs also have cool choreography. 

(It’s not because Sunoo looks adorable dancing to that particular song. No, not at all.)

But there’s no need to think about that now, because they’re at home, done for the day. Yes, home, at their dorm. Niki had a hard time getting used to the new space, but sleeping with his hyungs helps him not feel too homesick. It’s still hard, of course, to wake up in a room with six other people, but Niki is thankful for them being there. It would be much worse without them there, after all.

As for Sunoo, well he’s laying right next to Niki, reading fan comments on Weverse. They’re both in the older’s bed, Sunoo waiting to use the shower since Jungwon is taking a long time, and he has his fringe in a little ponytail, and god is he adorable. Niki is on his phone too, scrolling through Twitter, but that’s just an excuse not to look at Sunoo’s forehead. Niki has no idea how a forehead can be that cute, but he assumes he’s just gone crazy at this point. Sunoo could say a terrible swear word and it would still be one of the most adorable things Niki has ever heard.

When Jungwon comes out from the bathroom, Sunoo gets up. It’s always him after the leader, ever since their first day at the dorm. Niki usually goes first, because he sleeps a lot, so he’s just waiting for his hyungs to finish. He slept during the day anyways, he can wait for Sunoo tonight. So that they can go to sleep together. 

Sunoo climbs over him to get to the bed's ladder, and Niki holds his breath. He only lets it out when his hyung is out of the room, his bare feet making sounds in the hall towards the bathroom. They still haven't used the bathtub that’s in there. They’re so busy, they have to prioritize short showers and forget about bubble baths, but Niki knows Sunoo would love to light some candles and soak in a bath for a while. The bathtub is basically a jacuzzi for god's sake!

Everybody knows Sunoo has bought a bottle of bath foam that he hadn’t gotten to use yet.

And as much as Niki wants to give Sunoo the chance, he can’t. It’s not his choice after all. Sunoo will have to wait to use the pink bottle and it’s grapefruit-smelling content.

Niki thinks back to the Saturday he and Jungwon talked. He has felt even more comfortable with the older since he found out Jungwon likes guys, too. Niki’s feeling of belonging has definitely increased. 

He can’t help but wonder though, about the guy Jungwon likes.  _ ‘I have a guy I’m interested in’ _ , he said. Now, Niki was probably worse than others when it came to figuring out crushes, or anything to do with romance, but he was sure that he hadn’t seen Jungwon crushing on anybody. Not any of the boys in I-land or in Enhypen. But Jungwon must know plenty of people outside of the group anyways, so Niki assumes Jungwon’s crush is someone he hasn’t met. Sounds simple enough. 

‘ _ It must be hard, being far away from the person you like, especially since we can’t meet people that often.’ _

At that moment, Jungwon comes into their bedroom, drying his hair with a towel. Niki doesn’t look up at first, but then he hears his name being called, and puts his phone down.

“Niki, let’s talk. I have something I wanna ask you.” Jungwon is closing the door, and that makes Niki nervous. Is it something the older hyungs can’t know about? Did he make a mistake dancing, and now Jungwon has come to scold him for it? 

But Niki never makes mistakes when dancing. He knows that, and so does Jungwon.

Sitting on any of the beds, especially Jungwon’s, would be hard since they were bunk beds and they couldn’t sit upright on the lower levels, so the maknae sits himself down on the floor, next to his hyung.

Jungwon is sitting down on a pillow, still drying his hair, and the two of them are just looking at each other, not saying anything for a few moments. Then Jungwon looks towards the door, making sure no one’s walking in. Niki swallows. Jungwon stops his hair-drying-process and puts the towel around his shoulders. 

It’s a blue towel. Light blue. Niki thinks the color suits his hyung a lot. He’s just looking at the towel because the color’s pretty. Not because he’s nervous, or anything. He’s not avoiding Jungwon’s gaze on purpose.

“So, well, um… Niki…”

“Yeah?”

“I’m asking this, not because I want to invade your privacy, but because I think as a leader of our group it might be important for me to know this…”

“...Yeah?”

“The guy you like, it’s Sunoo… right?”

Pause. Stop the music. Not that any music  **is** playing, but if there had been, this is where it would stop.

Now, Niki knows he’s not the most subtle when it comes to… anything. But for Jungwon to know this already? It’s been, what, two weeks since they last spoke about this. (Around a week since debut. At least, Niki thinks it’s around that much. He doesn't really have the time or the energy to know what day it is most of the time.)

Not the point. 

Anyways, it hasn’t been long since Jungwon found out he even has a crush, so for him to know that quickly, it’s concerning, to say the least.

(Because if Jungwon knows, maybe the others know, and that would mean Sunoo… No. Niki can’t even think about what that means.)

In the midst of all this thinking, Niki has completely forgotten to answer Jungwon’s question. Jungwon is still looking at him, waiting for him to say something. Niki doesn’t. Jungwon tries again, but not before looking at the door once more.

“It’s Sunoo, right?”

And really, what can Niki do except nod? It’s useless hiding it at this point anyways, and Jungwon has a point when he says it’s important for him to know as the leader. A k-pop idol, being in love with his group member? Surely it’s not impossible, but it is unheard of, at least for Niki. He might have heard about some openly LGBTQ+ idols, but this wasn’t something like that. This could ruin his career, their career, their group, unless they handled it correctly.

Jungwon sighs, but he smiles a dimpled smile, and his hand reaches out to touch Niki’s shoulder.

“You know, even before you said you liked someone, I was kind of suspecting it. You treat him differently, after all. Like he’s special.”

“You’re all special, hyung. You’re my group.” Jungwon laughs softly at that.

“I know Niki. But you know what I mean, don’t you?”

“I guess… Am I really that obvious?”

Jungwon is laughing again as he says, “A little.” Then he removes his hand from Niki’s shoulder, and stands up. He says, “I’m not angry, you know.”

And really, Niki is thankful for Jungwons’s efforts at trying to make this less scary. But he can’t help but ask, “What now?”

Jungwon doesn’t seem to have an answer to that, at first. He thinks for a while, standing still near his bed. Niki can hear his hyungs in the living room, talking about something, while someone is playing  _ Smash Bros  _ way too loudly for this time in the evening. (Or this time at night, might actually be a better sentence. It is around 3 am, after all.) It’s either Jay or Heeseung, if not both of them, playing against each other. Niki can tell Jay is probably losing, if his cursing is proof enough.

“Niki, nothing’s gonna change. For now at least.” Niki lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“But I might have to talk to Heeseung about this. I’m not too sure what to do myself, truth be told. Would that be okay, Niki? To let hyung know?”

It’s scary, of course. But Niki has hope that his hyungs will accept him. Jungwon did, after all. 

‘ _ Although Jungwon’s different. Because he’s the same as me. _ ’

Pushing his thought far, far into the back of his brain, Niki nods. says “Okay, that’s fine.”

Jungwon smiles. Niki is quiet.

“I’ll tell him when I get the time. For now, I have to go complain to Sunoo. He’s taking way too long in the bathroom, and Jake still has to shower. Can you tell the hyungs I said it’s time to sleep?”

Niki just nods again, nervous about the fact that Heeseung will know. Know that he likes Sunoo. Know that he likes  _ boys _ .

Jungwon seems to notice this, and pets Niki’s hair. 

“Liking Sunoo isn’t a bad thing, Niki. At least it’s not some guy in Japan, right? It would be harder if you couldn’t meet them, after all. At least now you can talk to him every day!”

Niki considers not asking for a moment. Then he decides to just go for it.

“Is that how it is for you, hyung? Not the Japan thing, but… the part about not meeting your crush?”

Man, Niki is getting good at surprising Jungwon, because he looks like he expected anything but that. His eyes are wide, and is he blushing? His ears are a little red, at least. It’s cute, Niki thinks.

Jungwon is quiet for what seems like a long time. Then he says “What the hell,” very quietly to himself, before ruffling Niki’s hair. Again.

“Tell you what, if my talk with Heeseung goes well, I’ll tell you the answer to that question, and any others you might have. Now go tell Jay to shut up, will you?”

-♥︎-♥︎-♥︎-


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorm life is hectic, especially with 7 teenage boys. Their daily life is filled with games, screaming, and what's that? Maybe a bit of love as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING! This chapter includes dialogue about Mortal Kombat, a fighting game that is extremely grafic. DON'T SEARCH THIS GAME UP IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE ANIMATED GLOOD/GORE.**  
>  Listen I feel bad for Heeseung but tbh I had to make one of them like MK and Heeseung just turned out to be my victim.   
> Also I have some ideas for future fics but tbh I'm not sure how well that's gonna go. I have decided to finish this first but man, I'm kinda stuck.  
> Enjoy???

If the Enhypen members are at home, there’s usually loud noises coming from the dorms living room. Unless they’re sleeping, of course. Today is no different, and Heeseung is sitting on the sofa, Nintendo Switch controller in hand, playing Mortal Kombat on the TV. Sunoo is sitting next to him, watching with a smile on his face, yelling “Get him! Yes! Use the spear! Yes!” while eating gummies. Sunghoon is there too, although he looks uncomfortable, and Jake next to him looks like he’s been scarred for life. Jay, walking into the room from the kitchen after washing the dishes, looks over to the screen grimacing.

“If our fans knew you play that gross game, they’d be heartbroken.” He says, sitting down and grabbing a drink.

Heeseung laughs.

“It’s not that bad, really. You all just can’t handle anything remotely scary.”

“It’s not scary, just gory. SUPER gory. It’s tasteless man.”

Sunoo laughs, looking at the TV like it’s a funny children’s cartoon and not a 18+ fighting game.

“You’re just weak Jay hyung. What a baby!” The raven-haired boy says, drinking from his coffee with a straw, looking way more innocent than he should while talking about his elder that way.

“Why are we watching you play this instead of watching Howl's Moving Castle again?” Jay shakes his head. He looks over at Jake.

“Dude, you look sick.” The blond says, and Sunghoon swings his arm around Jake's shoulder.

“I  **feel** sick,” Jake answers. “I’m no good with blood.”

“I’m playing this today because Niki and Jungwon are at the studio dancing late again. I don’t want to play this in front of either of them, remember?” Heeseung says.

“You know, for someone who’s so protective over them, you sure play weird games in the dorm a lot.” Sunghoon says, patting Jake on the back. “Let’s go watch something on my laptop instead Jake.”

Heeseung scoffs. 

“Protectiveness has nothing to do with the games I like. What kind of logic is that?”

“What a bad father you are, hyung.”

Heeseung rolls his eyes.

“I’m a single dad with 6 kids to care for. Cut me some slack.”

-♥︎-♥︎-♥︎-

Just when Jake and Sunghoon have closed the door to the bedroom, the front door opens as well. In comes their leader followed by their maknae, and their fellow members can hear them talk while taking off their shoes.

“Heeseung, turn off the game!” Sunoo whispers a little too loudly to be whispering.

Heeseung fumbles with the game control, and takes out another game, Mario Kart, from the case. He steps towards the TV to switch the games. 

When Jungwon and Niki come inside the living room, the TV is displaying Mario Kart’s start screen, and Heeseung is giving one of his controllers to Jay. Sunoo is connecting one of Jay’s controllers too, so that he can use it and they all can play together.

Jungwon stops in front of the oldest hyung.

“Hey Jungwon, back already?” How was practice?” Jay asks, selecting his character for the race. He picks  _ Shy guy _ , selecting the color black. 

Jungwon makes eye contact with Heeseung instead of looking at Jay. 

“It was fine. Heeseung hyung, can I talk to you please? Alone, if you don’t mind.”

Heeseung looks startled, but gives his controller over to an anxious-looking Niki.

“Sure Wonie. Niki, take over for me in this race, will you? You’re the Toad. You better beat Jay, okay?”

Sunoo looks over at Niki, patting the space next to him on the sofa where Heeseung no longer is.

“Come on Niki, you can sit next to me!”

Niki looks at the TV and scoffs.

“You’re playing Princess Peach again? You’re like a little kid.”

“That’s not any Princess Peach, it’s  **Cat** Peach. And she’s adorable.”

“Whatever.” Niki says, sitting down next to Sunoo, their thighs touching. He seems to relax a tiny bit with the contact.

“She says ‘meow’ when she jumps, Niki. ‘Meow’!”

“Whatever.” Niki says again, although he blushes when Sunoo says  _ ‘meow’. _ At least Jungwon thinks he sees pink on his cheeks.

“Where are the others? Jungwon asks. 

“Jake and Sunghoon are watching something in the bedroom.”

Jungwon goes over to the bedroom door and knocks. The quiet sound of a k-drama stops and It’s quiet for a few moments before they hear Sunghoon answer, a slow “...Yeah?”

“Hyung, I need the bedroom. Just for a little while.” Jungwon says, not opening the door. It takes a few seconds for Sunghoon to answer again.

“Why?”

“I need somewhere with a door.”

“Can’t you use the makeup room? Or the bathroom or something?”

Jungwon sighs. Then he signals with his hands to Heeseung, turning towards the makeup room.”

“Well, okay hyung, but there’s only one chair in there right now.”

“Oh… well get one from the kitchen then! Thank you!” They hear Sunghoon answer. 

Jungwon sighs again. Then he takes a chair from the kitchen and tells Heeseung to come with him into the makeup room. He closes the door.

_ ‘I just know they’re cuddling or kissing or whatever in there. Movie my ass. They’re so obvious, even if they think they’re hiding it. _ ’ He thinks to himself, but smiles at Heeseung as they sit down. Heeseung gives him a confused smile back.

‘ _ Although I bet Niki and Jay don’t have a clue.’ _

-♥︎-♥︎-♥︎-

In the living room, Niki is an anxious mess. And that is an understatement. He’s playing the game, but he can’t focus, and his character keeps falling off the track. Sunoo gives him a worried look after the end of track one, where his character ranks 12th. Jay is trying hard to act like he doesn’t notice how worried Niki is, but he’s also sending signals with his eyes, trying to ask Niki what’s wrong without actually saying anything. It’s not gonna work though. 

Sunoo is the first to speak up, and pauses the game in the middle of the second course. He’s petting Niki’s hair now, the game controller laying in his lap. Jay puts his controller down too, and takes his phone out from his pocket, staying quiet.

“Niki, is everything okay? You seem a little… uh… tired, or something?”  _ Tired _ . Yeah, that’s exactly what Sunoo wanted to say. Expressing worry was hard, okay. And really, Sunoo couldn’t tell exactly what Niki was, if he was worried or… scared? Restless? ( _ That’s the opposite of tired, Sunoo. Should have said that instead. _ ) He was something, anyways.

“Don’t worry about me hyung, I’m fine. I’m just not in the mood for playing games tonight.”

“Oh, well, that’s fine! We can watch a movie or something instead, right Jay?”

Jay looks up from his phone. He looks kinda lost. 

“Oh, uh, yeah. Of course. The plan  **was** to watch Howl’s Moving Castle before Heeseung started playing Mor- Mario Kart. Yeah.”

Niki looks at him with a deadpanned expression.

“He was playing that gross game, Mortal something right? Both me and Jungwon know he has it, hyung. Even if you all try to hide it for some reason.”

“It's a bad influence! You’re both too young to know that game even exists!”

“Stop treating me like a baby!”

“You  **are** a baby!”

“Let’s watch Totoro instead!” Sunoo interrupts, grabbing the remote.

“No way, we’ve watched that one, what, like four times already? I don’t wanna watch it again!” Niki says, moving his head so that it’s laying in Sunoo’s lap. Sunoo understands the gesture and continues to pet Niki’s hair with his left hand. He looks down at the younger boy's face in his lap.

“It’s a good movie Niki!”

“Not that good!”

“Howl’s Moving Castle it is!” Jay says, very loudly, before taking the remote from Sunoo’s hands. 

-♥︎-♥︎-♥︎-

In the makeup room, Jungwon and Heeseung are sitting down on chairs, facing each other. It’s a pretty awkward situation without a table in between them. Heeseung in his  _ Winnie the Pooh _ pajama pants, and his pink hoodie with holes in it. (Named  _ Made by Jay _ .) Jungwon is still in his dancing clothes. He’s sweaty, and wants to shower, but alone time with only one member is hard to get. He has to take this chance, or they’ll be disrupted when they try next time. 

These last few days, Jungwon has gone over what to say about a hundred times already. The problem is that he still doesn’t have a good plan. Well, he’ll just wing it. Nothing wrong with that, right? He stays quiet for a few seconds. Heeseung takes the initiative.

“What’s on your mind, Wonie?” 

At least Jungwon knows, unlike Niki, that this talk will go just fine. After all, this isn’t the first time he’s talked to the oldest hyung about this kinda thing.

“Remember when I told you I liked J- a guy?” Heeseung perks up at this, his eyes and smile growing larger.

“Holy shit, Jungwon! Did you confess?! What did he say?! How come he hasn’t told m-“ Jungwon slaps his hand over Heeseung’s mouth.

“No you dummy! I didn’t! Also, stop talking so loudly, for the love of god!”

Heeseung is still smiling, but nods his head. Jungwon moves his hands away.

“This is a little serious, hyung. And it’s not about me, okay?”

“Okay, sorry sorry. What’s wrong?”

“Well, nothings really  **wrong** … I just want your opinion on something.”

“That’s fine, what is it?”

“So Niki told me he has someone he likes, and well… I think you already know who it is, but in case you don’t, I’m telling you now. He likes Sunoo hyung. Romantically.”

Heeseung seems more serious now, although he’s still smiling a little.

“Well,” he starts, “you could say I kind of noticed. Niki sleeping next to him and all that stuff, I thought that might be it.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty obvious about it.” Jungwon smiles a little, thinking about Niki. He’s obvious, but that’s also one of his good points. Honesty.

“Is that a problem?”

“It’s not a problem. In fact, I think they’re really cute, and I hope it works out. But…”

“But?”

“I’m not sure how to handle it if they become, a, um…”

“A thing?”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t mind it, but I’m thinking about the group. If anyone else finds out…”

Heeseung looks like he understands what Jungwon is thinking.

“I’m glad you’re our leader, Jungwon. You think about us a lot. But maybe you think about it too much? I personally think it’ll be fine. No matter what they do, we’ll just have to tell them not to show it in front of cameras. Or in front of anyone we work with.”

“Maybe you’re right…”

“The only problem is if our managers find out. That’s one thing that can’t happen.”

“Yeah.”

They’re both quiet for a while.

In the living room Jay and the rest are yelling about something. Jungwon can hear Sunoo yelling the word  _ Totoro _ for some reason. Jay screams something as an answer. Then it calms down, and everything is relatively quiet again. Heeseung is still looking at him. 

“You know Wonie, I think you and Jay would be cute together too.”

Jungwon frowns at this. 

“I told you hyung, I’m never telling him.”

“I know, I know. But if you decide to, you have my support.”

Jungwon’s voice is a little sad when he answers.

“It won’t happen.”

Heeseung takes the younger boy’s hand. He’s always a sweet older brother, even in hard situations. They’re very close, the two of them. Heeseung is the first person Jungwon talks to when he’s worried or when he’s struggling. He’s reliable, and at the same time, he also knows how to brighten Jungwon’s mood. They’ve always supported each other, ever since I-land.

“You never know, maybe Jay will initiate something! Take the first step, or whatever you call it.”

Jungwon laughs.

“Yeah, because that’s super likely.” He says sarcastically, rolling his eyes for good measure.

-♥︎-♥︎-♥︎-

In the living room, Jay keeps looking over to the closed door of the makeup room. Sunoo is constantly talking throughout the movie about  _ ‘how hot Howl is’,  _ but neither Jay or Niki tells him to stop.

Jake and Sunghoon come out of the bedroom, sitting down on the sofa. They say nothing about Niki sitting with his head in Sunoo’s lap, watching the movie sideways. They say nothing about Sunoo’s hands, petting Niki’s hair. And when Jungwon and Heeseung come to squeeze themselves in next to them, they ask nothing about what they talked about either.

When Niki goes to sleep, he holds Sunoo in an extra tight hug, and Sunoo says nothing about this. He simply smiles, and tells the maknae  _ ‘goodnight’ _ . When Niki holds his hand, he says nothing about it. And when Sunoo puts his face really close to Niki’s, neither of them says anything about it either. 

And if, by chance, the next morning, Jungwon finds them with their legs intertwined and their faces still close to each other, he doesn’t tell anyone.

-♥︎-♥︎-♥︎-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen if you can't imagine Sunoo laughing while watching game characters fight to the death idk what to tell you. I see it. He could. Probably. Maybe. I'm ashamed. Bye.  
> ALSO IF YOU THINK THEY WON'T PLAY THESE SPECIFIC MARIO KART CHARACTERS U HAVE TO FIGHT ME IT'S THE LAW!?


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bungeoppang, movie nights, and crushes- thats what Niki's life is filled with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..........i'm back  
> it's been a while, i have no excuse  
> well, here ya go

It was no secret that Bungeoppang, or fish shaped buns, were Niki’s favorite food. He called them Taiyaki at the dorm once, since that was the word he had used in Japan, and his hyungs seemed to find it cute. So now all of them used that word instead.

The day of their Twitter blue room live, Niki had gotten his fry pan for the buns, and he and Jay had decided to make some. Niki didn’t ever cook, but he could make this. Kind of. And Jay, being the mom friend that he was, decided he could help. The whole way home they had talked about the same thing they talked about live, if they ate the head or the tail first. It was a heated discussion that ended at the front door. They had called a truce, deciding that screaming about dessert wasn’t worth it.

Sunoo had asked Niki to make them with custard instead of red bean paste or chocolate, and Niki had agreed without a fight. (Sunoo had pouted and said “ _Pwease Niki?_ ” And that was all it took. Jungwon had looked at him with narrowed eyes, but Niki had ignored it.) Niki liked red bean paste the most, but who cares? Taiyaki was Taiyaki, all the same. And a happy Sunoo made everything delicious.

For some reason Sunoo had also decided to sit in the kitchen even if he wasn’t going to help them with anything. He was just half-laying down on the table, supporting his head with his arm, browsing some social media on his phone. He sometimes looked at Niki and smiled, which was appreciated. 

Making taiyaki really didn’t need much space but Jay and Niki were messy, and they ended up using the entire table for some reason or another. The only clean space was whatever space Sunoo was laying on, playing music from his phone and humming along. Jay had asked Sunoo if he could play music instead (since he was the one cooking), but Niki had glared at him and told him it didn’t matter. 

Jay had grumbled about this, saying ‘ _if it doesn’t matter why can’t we use my music?’_ But he had been ignored. About two songs later it had been forgotten, and all three of them were singing along to the K-pop songs on Sunoo’s playlist. 

The process was messy, and some of the fishes looked straight up dead, but Niki was happy with the taste, and that was all that mattered. After making about 30 of the fluffy golden pastries, the three of them had moved to the living room to settle down next to the others. Heeseung in the middle with the maknae-line on one side and the remaining hyung-line on the other. Sunoo was sitting so close to Niki he might as well have been sitting in his lap, with his cheek pressed into Niki’s chest and one of his legs on top of the younger’s. Niki had his arm around Sunoo’s waist. (This was the norm.) Jungwon was next to Heeseung and had his head on the older’s shoulder. On the other side, Jay and Jake were both leaning on Sunghoon on different sides. Heeseung had the Taiyaki on a big plate in his lap, and they were watching some random drama Jake had chosen. It was a crime drama about some detective Niki couldn’t remember the name of, even three episodes in. It wasn’t particularly interesting, but no one had a better option.

Well, Sunoo and Heeseung both had options (that were better according to them) but they were banned from choosing movies after choosing horror movies one too many times. Sunoo had put on two different zombie movies in the past, both extremely bloody and full of violence, and Jake (and Jungwon but nobody was allowed to mention that) had almost thrown up both times. They never finished either one. Heeseung had asked them to watch a movie called ‘ _Don’t click’_ and Jay had nearly pissed his pants from just reading what the movie was about. Not literally maybe, but still.

_“It’s like the Korean version of ‘The ring’! There’s no way we’re watching that!”_ He had exclaimed.

The same Jay was almost sleeping now, however, eyes kind of closed, breathing slow. It wasn’t late, but their schedule was packed most of the time, so being tired was expected. Sunghoon lowered the volume a little, but still decided to wake Jay up and make him brush his teeth. Going to bed early was a privilege they usually didn’t have, after all.

Sunghoon was helping his sleepy friend walk towards the bathroom when Sunoo yawned, and tucked himself in even more towards Niki. His raven head now in the crook of Niki’s neck, his mouth on his collarbone, his hand on Niki’s chest, one leg still draped over the younger’s lap. This was nice and all, and Niki was used to skinship with his hyung, but his heart was still beating a little too hard. Sunoo’s lips were touching his skin, not in a kiss of course, but it was touching nonetheless. His hand was weighing down on Niki’s chest and felt heavier than it should have. 

Niki was warm. Very warm, and it wasn’t just because of their body heat. He knew his ears were probably red, and he licked his lips nervously for no apparent reason, tightening his hold on Sunoo’s waist. He was trying really hard to not look down but he couldn’t stop himself. Looking down to where Sunoo’s face was barely visible through his raven hair, the sight took the air out of his lungs. Sunoo’s eyelashes were long and dark, his eyes almost closed. His lips were their normal shade of dark-rose-pink, and he was letting out steady breaths Niki could feel on his skin. He was almost **too** beautiful, and Niki found himself wondering if he would ever get used to how pretty Sunoo was. He felt the same buzz inside his rib cage every time he saw him, no matter how often. Even though he slept with Sunoo every day, he still found himself studying his features morning after morning, night after night.

He couldn’t stop his thoughts about waking him up by putting his lips to Sunoo’s dark shiny ones, or surprising him by holding his wrist and spinning him around just to kiss him swiftly and unexpectedly, or taking a soft hold on his chin and guide his lips to Niki’s while laying in his ( _their_ ) bed after saying their good nights. 

He knew he couldn’t go on like this forever. He would have to stop hiding his feelings soon enough, or they would grow too heavy to handle. But for now, he decided to simply enjoy the feeling of Sunoo on top of him, now soundly asleep. He decided to remember as much about this moment as he possibly could, and to not take it for granted. 

One day he would have to tell Sunoo about how he felt, and after that who knew if he’d ever get to feel this again. 

-♥︎-♥︎-♥︎-

Niki talked to Jungwon a lot. They were close in age and good friends, so this was a given. But lately they had been talking a lot about love, specifically. To be fair though, wasn’t it normal for teenage boys to talk about that? Niki didn’t really know, but he assumed it wasn’t that big of a deal to be _a little bit_ obsessed with the topic. A little. 

Or maybe not so little, since Niki was more interested in Jungwon’s mysterious crush than anything else. Except dance. And Sunoo. Yeah. And maybe Sunoo’s lips should be a separate point. And his hands? For some reason. Moving on.

He was more observant when it came to Jungwon now. He looked at him more, listened when he interacted with other members. It didn’t seem like he was interested in Sunoo, which was a relief, to be honest. If he was interested in someone else, he was hiding it pretty well, because he acted the same around most of them. Niki was pretty sure Jungwon didn’t like anyone in Enhypen. 

But honestly, what did he know about Jungwon? Except for his living habits, and his talents, and some stuff he liked, not a lot. Niki realized that while they were close, they weren’t close in a way that said ‘I know everything about you’. But Jungwon still knew a lot about Niki, and he had told Niki two of his secrets too. 

He liked boys, just like Niki. He had a boy he liked, just like Niki. And the fact that he had told him alone made them closer than ever. Niki always appreciated what Jungwon did for him and the rest of the members. He worked hard as a leader and was the most considerate person Niki had ever met. But wasn’t that in some way holding him back? Being selfless is good until you realize you haven’t been thinking about yourself at all, and then it turns into a curse. Niki wished their leader would take more care of himself as well.

Jungwon was currently sleeping in his bed. It had been a long day with performing and whatnot, and most of the guys were tired. But not Sunoo. No, he had taken Niki to the living room, told him they should watch something. Niki was tired, but agreed anyway. Now they were sitting with a blanket over them, Sunoo pressed into his side and with his head on Niki’s shoulder. 

Why were they always sitting so close? When did it start? Niki couldn’t say. He enjoyed it, and it was comfortable, but he also had this weird feeling in his chest. Sunoo was close, but he felt far away. They talked a lot, but they never really said much. Was this how it was supposed to be? Niki had a crush on Sunoo, but besides that, they were best friends. Weren’t they? Wasn’t their connection supposed to be like, deeper, or something? Well, they knew each other well and all, and they enjoyed each other’s company, but… it felt like Sunoo was always keeping Niki at an arm's distance, emotionally. 

Physically they were sitting close together, yet it was like Sunoo had an invisible wall around him whenever they talked. It made Niki a little sad. Why couldn’t his hyung open up to him? He wanted to get to know Sunoo even better, to be the person that knew him the best. Was that selfish? Maybe a little. But wasn’t that how you felt when you liked someone?

Why did they watch so many movies and shows anyway? They were busy with everything going on in their own lives, so why did all of them find time to watch made up lives on the TV? They could be asleep right now, or laying in bed talking to each other, or practicing. Wasn’t practice the most important? Shouldn't they be spending all their free time dancing, or singing, or something like that? 

But then, wasn’t that exactly why? Because if they didn’t watch movies or play games or go outside, and simply spent all their time being idols, what else would they have left besides work? Niki was only now realizing something his hyungs probably already knew. Their time together when they weren’t working, that was the most important part. 

They watched movies and played games because that’s what teenagers were supposed to do, what they enjoyed doing, what made them the same as everyone else. To take some of the pressure of their shoulders.

It wasn’t because the things they did were particularly interesting. It was because they could spend that time together, just being. Because even if they all loved their idol work, only doing that all the time would be exhausting.

Did Sunoo want to watch this show, or did he just want to spend time with Niki? 

Instead of watching the romance drama they had on, Niki was thinking about this. It was hard to concentrate on the TV when they had almost no sound on. Bothering the other members when they were sound asleep would be bad after all. But in this almost-silence, Niki couldn’t help but voice his thoughts out loud. Out loud, yet still quietly.

“Sunoo hyung, why are we watching this?” Sunoo doesn’t move to look at him. He’s still looking at the screen that shines brightly in contrast to the dark room. The light is illuminating his pale face, making him shine as well. But well, Sunoo was always shining, no matter where he was. A shine Niki loved more than anything.

Niki can’t tell because he isn’t looking at him, but he thinks Sunoo is smiling. He hopes he is. Sunoo takes his hand in his. The older’s words are quiet, but they’re so close that Niki hears them without a problem.

“Because I don’t want to go to sleep yet.”

-♥︎-♥︎-♥︎-


End file.
